We go to China
For a child
A daughter
We are deeply disturbed at the vastness of girls
Abandoned
Lost
Alone
We love each of these girls
Even as we are grateful to adopt just one
And we are proud to teach them about
Girl power
We want to right the balance
We want our girls to know they are not a second choice
We want to raise them to be powerful
And many of us believe
That boys in China are Little Emperors
Adored
Indulged
Loved beyond belief
Many are.
And yet
Should you have the great privilege of visiting an orphanage
You will see boys
And not just a few
Many, many boys
Who perhaps were a second child
But, in all sad reality,
Were probably abandoned because of some special need
Cleft lip, cleft palate
Heart disease
Club feet or vision problems
Issues that, in the states,
Are treatable or at least manageable
Issues that, in the states,
Would not define them or their lives
And they wait.
They wait for a home
A family
A chance
Maybe you weren't thinking of
A boy
Maybe you weren't thinking
Special needs
Maybe you were envisioning
Your fairy tale
And you should never apologize
For that
We all have our fairy tale
We all have our vision
We all have our dreams
But so do these children
Be they girls, abdicated to a less than status
By the power of culture and tradition
Or
Be they boys, left to live in an orphanage
Left without the same opportunities
As their parented peers
When I first dreamed of parenthood
It wasn't to an adopted child
I dreamed of pregnancy
Of womanhood
Of giving life
I grieved the loss of that first dream
And yet
The second dream was not
Second best.
Instead of giving birth to a child
I gave birth
To me
I became a mother
When I began to love
I became a mother
When I began to whisper sweet goodbyes
To the dreams that seemed important
So I could listen to dreams
That would not wait
So today,
I ask you to consider a boy
Consider a special need
Consider that you might be
More than what you ever thought
We adopted our daughter
As a non-special- needs child
And her needs are vast
And global
And tiring
And rewarding
We adopted through the traditional program
Because we couldn't handle special needs
Luckily, God knew better
And now,
The couple who couldn't handle special needs
Has become a family who can handle
Whatever comes its way.
Including a boy.
A boy with special needs
Who has captured our hearts,
Intrigued our minds,
And blessed our days already.
And so I ask you again,
Consider a boy.
Consider that you might be
More than what you ever thought.
Consider.
Just consider.
